Don’t Overstay Your Ministry Call: Know When to Fold ’Em
Rev. Dr. Jack L. Daniel
“Know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em.” That line from Kenny Rogers’ signature song “The Gambler,” though seemingly trite, has become a truism in our culture about the wisdom of quitting while you’re ahead. Sadly, many pastors have ignored that wisdom and stayed in the pulpit for too long. And usually everyone but the pastor himself knows that it’s time to “fold ’em.”
They can’t afford to retire. For many pastors, the reason is as simple as that. It is estimated that two-thirds of churches in America have congregations of fewer than 100 people. Small churches struggle to pay their pastor a living wage. Pastors often contribute to the problem with a false theology of money. Rabbi Daniel Lapin, in his book Thus Shalt Prosper, writes about the unease clergy have around money because we earn our living from the flock we serve. We may feel it is worldly to use the tithes and offerings of our flock to accumulate the wealth needed to retire.
They have no place to live. Related to not having the income to retire is the problem of not having a place to live in retirement. In this largely “post-parsonage” era, many pastors own their own homes. However, many thousands of pastors reside in church-owned houses. Having to give up this housing benefit presents a huge problem for a pastor contemplating the end of his career.
They fear a loss of identity. Pastors, like so many professionals and skilled workers, have a strong professional identity. There is great personal fulfillment in being a pastor. We know that from the creation, God has ordained work to be a blessing. Further, from Christ’s redemption, we know that the curse of work from the Fall has been lifted in part so that work is a means to glorify God. For a pastor deeply wedded to his calling, the end of a career raises the question of identity: Who am I? What will I do?
They fear a loss of community. For many pastors, the relationships in their congregation and the friendships in their community make it difficult to leave. It is where their closest connections are found and where they have a deep sense of belonging. Leaving friendships forged, sometimes over decades, is very painful. Making new friends in the last season of life is not easy, especially if a significant relocation is involved.
They believe they are called for life. “There is no retirement in the Bible” or “If you’re not dead, God’s not done” is how this belief is often expressed. It is true that as long as we are alive and able, every believer is a Minister. Only some are called to be pastors, and that is for a specific season in a specific place, rarely till the day we die.
They believe they are indispensable. The reality, of course, is that none of us is indispensable. This false belief may be based on their own perception of their effectiveness. Or it may be a co-dependency that has developed between a needy pastor and a needy congregation.
The church plateaus and then begins to decline. Every living entity, including a church, goes through a life cycle. For a church, this life cycle typically follows a pattern of Birth (or rebirth), Growth, Plateau (or Equilibrium), Decline, and Death. A long, effective ministry often sees a church born or reborn, grow, and then plateau. There is a brief door of opportunity in this stage of equilibrium when the Holy Spirit can rekindle a church’s passion to reach the lost and begin a new season of vitality, a new life cycle. If that opportunity is missed, however, the next stage is decline.
The church loses its effectiveness in reaching a younger generation. A rule of thumb is that a pastor can minister most effectively to people 15 years older to 15 years younger than himself. A 60-something pastor can hope to reach those in their 40s to those in their 80s. The pastor’s age will largely shape the culture of the church, and the culture will determine the age demographic the church can reach. Martin Luther stated that every culture needs to hear the gospel in its own language, thus his translation of the entire Bible into German. We could add that every generation has the right to hear the gospel in its distinctive cultural language. It’s harmful to a church when a pastor overstays his ability, or flexibility, to reach the people God is bringing through the door.
The pastor accrues too much power. In the early years of a ministry, a pastor struggles to acquire the authority to lead a church forward. Conversely, in the latter years of a ministry, a pastor must learn to release authority to others in the church. As nineteenth-century English historian Lord Acton said, “Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.” The Body of Christ becomes a hideous distortion when an authoritarian pastor rules over his congregation in the place of Jesus.
The pastor becomes the one who resists necessary change. In the early season of a pastorate or pastoral career, the pastor is the change agent leading the church to new horizons. A danger for a pastor overstaying his call is that he gradually becomes the obstacle to change. That is, he is now the one resisting the changes needed to keep a church’s mission fresh and effective.
No one wants to overstay his welcome. No one wants to be the last one to know that it’s time to leave. An aging athlete past his prime, a singer whose voice is gone, a pastor whose congregation hopes he will retire soon. These are all unenviable positions. Who wants to be remembered for failed “comebacks” or drawn-out declines? No, we want to be remembered for our achievements. As I was nearing the end of a 35-year pastorate, I sought advice from a wise friend—a former pastor and seminary professor —who had recently wound down his long and effective ministry and teaching career. I asked how he knew it was time to retire; he suggested the following signs, most of which I began to recognize in my own life.
- You feel you are losing the passion for your ministry. What used to excite you now seems tedious. Ministry now seems burdensome, merely a way to pay the bills.
- You feel as if you have said everything you have to say, but like Moses in Deuteronomy, you have to say everything over again to a generation that hasn’t heard it before. You may even begin preaching the same sermons over again, telling the same stories over again, because nothing new is coming to you.
- You find yourself becoming more easily angered and impatient with the flock you were called to love and serve.
- You find yourself struggling with the rapid advances in technology. New worship music and styles are not to your taste.
- You maintain ministries and traditions that are past their “sell by” date because there are no fresh eyes to assess their usefulness. There is a lack of new initiatives and people to lead them. Change is now burdensome.
- You start dreaming of doing something else, of being somewhere else.
Does any of this resonate with you? Here are some next steps. Begin by seeking the counsel of others, starting with God. Then approach those who know you best: your spouse, your children, your close friends or colleagues, and then a few trusted members of your congregation. Ask them to be truthful. Listen in silence.
Ask yourself if you can honestly say that you have fulfilled the calling God gave you for your ministry. Recognize that there are always some goals that will be left unreached, but in the main have you done what the Lord asked?
If so, then, have the faith and courage to turn the page on one chapter of your life and allow God to start to write the next. Psalm 71:9 is a prayer for such a time, for the last season of life: “Do not cast me away when I am old; do not forsake me when my strength is gone.” And v.18 even provides a direction for ministry in our latter years: “Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, O God, till I declare your power to the next generation. . . . ” What a blessing it is when we can pass along to a new generation some of the wisdom we have gained in walking with the Lord for a long time. Our successes, and even more our failures, become useful when shared with others. Opportunities in retirement abound in such activities as interim ministries, coaching younger pastors, teaching, pulpit supply, counseling, or writing. Knowing when to “fold ’em” and step away from a fruitful ministry can set you up for rich and rewarding service to Christ in the last season of life.
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About the Author:
Jack L. Daniel is Field Director for Overseed, a nonprofit ministry organization whose vision is to revitalize historic New England churches by recruiting, training, and supporting godly pastors to serve in their pulpits. He is Pastor Emeritus of Free Christian Church of Andover and North Andover, MA, a congregational church he pastored for 35 years. Jack holds degrees from Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary (M.Div.) and Andover-Newton Theological School (D.Min. in Pastoral Counseling). Retired from full-time ministry in 2012, he remains passionate about preaching the gospel and coaching younger pastors.
