The Good Fight: Lessons from Paul about Church Conflict

Rev. Dr. Jack L. Daniel

One of the best arguments for the historical authenticity of the New Testament is its brutal honesty. If the New Testament were merely the propaganda documents of the early church, as some critics claim, and not the revelation of God by the inspiration of the Apostles, it certainly would not include the many messy church fights recorded on its pages. There they all are, however, in black and white. As a result, the New Testament is further validated, and today’s church is guided by the incidents. I want to look at two of these church spats involving the Apostle Paul and draw some lessons from them that can guide our behavior when our own churches have conflict.

Most of us hate conflict and try to avoid it at all costs, but sometimes it is unavoidable. Paul says he has “fought the good fight” (II Tim. 4:7), and he urges Timothy to “fight the good fight of the faith” (I Tim. 6:12). Paul doesn’t define the “good fight,” but from his writings and actions, we can discern some advice for fighting the good fight. Conflict is part of our universal, fallen existence, inescapable even in the church. If we are going to have a church fight, though, may it be the “good fight.”

Conflict in Which YOU Are One of the Parties

Church conflict often involves the pastor as one of the parties, and few ministry experiences are as painful to a pastor. You know the tensions that it triggers: the churning stomach, the sleepless nights, the anxious thoughts, the self-doubts about your calling. Sometimes the pastor is the cause of the fight, sometimes merely the scapegoat, but in either case, church fights can scar a pastor and his family for a lifetime.

We can learn some lessons from a conflict between the Apostles Paul and Peter. The clash, recorded by Paul in Galatians 2, was the “smackdown” of the ages.

Lesson One: Choose Your Fights Carefully

Military literature has given us the apt idiom, “Pick the hill you want to die on,”—meaning decide if the action you are about to take is worth the losses you are likely to sustain. For Paul, the action described in Galatians 2:11-21 was the defense of the gospel against the heresy of the so-called “Judaizers” (Paul’s term). Peter, under pressure from this group, separated himself from the Gentile Christians in Antioch. Others, including Barnabas, were also led astray by this false teaching. Paul rightly saw that, allowed to go unchallenged, this “Christ-plus” heresy threatened to divide the early church into Jewish and Gentile branches. So, he confronted Peter to his face with his hypocrisy.

Today’s church fights are rarely over doctrine, as the conflict in Antioch was. Instead, most quarrels are over personal preferences, not principles. I recently spoke with a new pastor who was under attack because he had removed the American flag that had graced the front of the sanctuary for many decades. His action caused a quick and ferocious reaction, and he was forced to return the flag to its place. He explained to me that he had done it because he felt the flag was a symbol of civil religion, but when I pressed him further, he admitted that it just bothered him. Was this a hill worth dying on? No, he confessed, and it had probably cost him some of the trust he had been building in this, his first church. Ask yourself, is this a principle to fight for, or merely a preference you favor? I suspect that many church fights are over secondary matters of preference, not first-order principles.

Carefully weigh the cost involved and be certain the fight is over primary matters such as biblical orthodoxy or the pastor’s authority over the pulpit. Examples of secondary matters might include a fight to change the name of the church or the style of worship music. Ask yourself if you have heard from God with clarity on the issue and if it matters enough to risk hurting members of your flock.

Lesson Two: Don’t Let the Fight Become Personal

There is no hint that this dispute was a personal issue between Paul and Peter. It was not the result of an irascible personality on Paul’s part, nor a competition for seniority or superiority in the fledgling church. In my opinion, however, pastors involved in conflict often allow their opponents to frame the fight as personal. Pastors easily become lightning rods, especially when, like Paul, they make difficult leadership decisions. Paul kept his fight from being recast as a personal one by going public with it. He confronted Peter in front of the church because Peter’s action had also been in full view of the church. Granted, it is usually wise to try to resolve a conflict at the lowest level—one on one, as the Lord advises in Matthew 18. However, if that does not work, here is the wisdom of making it public by bringing the matter to the church leadership: Now, the squabble can no longer be portrayed as personal. While there are dangers in making a conflict public, sometimes the best antiseptic for a festering sore is the bright light of open discussion. Paul takes it one step further with the calling of the Jerusalem Council (Acts 15). It appears from the Book of Acts that the leaders of the Antioch church initiated the Jerusalem Council to deal with the conflict and determine the status of Gentile Christians.

Lesson Three: Sometimes, the Conflict Is Not Resolved

While the Jerusalem Council officially settled the matter, Judaizers continued to dog Paul’s ministry; hence, the need to address it again in Galatians. Do not be surprised if the same issues you thought were decided on crop up again. Do as Paul did and fight the good fight again, this time, hopefully, with wisdom learned from previous experience.

Conflict in Which You Are the Referee

It is far better to be the referee in a church fight than one of the combatants. This typically happens when a pastor has won the trust and respect of his congregation, and they have empowered him to lead. I recall that point in my pastorate when conflict was no longer about me but instead involved disputes between members. But conflict is still conflict, and it still threatens the unity of the church. We have a clear example of this kind of discord in Paul’s epistle to the Philippians. The incident involving two women in the church must have been a serious matter for the Apostle to deal with it in a pastoral letter written from prison in Rome.

Lesson One: Stay Neutral

In Philippians 4, Paul appeals to both parties, Euodia and Syntyche, to find agreement. It is important for a pastor not to take sides so that he can help each party. In his neutrality, Paul finds commendable things to say about each of these women. Far from criticizing them for causing trouble, he speaks with glowing praise for them, recalling all that they did side by side with him and affirming that their names are written in the Book of Life. He is saying, in effect, “Don’t let this dispute define these women; it should not be the final word about them; they are defined by Christ.” When refereeing or arbitrating a dispute, see the situation as an occasion to pour grace into the discomfort and pain of the conflict.

Lesson Two: Be Quick to Listen and Slow to Give Advice

Paul was hundreds of miles away from Philippi in Rome when he wrote his appeal for agreement. His letter would take weeks to arrive, whereas conflicts are dynamic and evolving. Any specific advice would have quickly been outdated. While that is not our situation, conflicts are often complicated, and it is better to listen and seek to understand before offering advice.

Lesson Three: Invite the Church to Help

Controversy between church members or staff is a grave matter and may need intervention by church leaders. That was true in this instance: “I ask you, loyal yokefellows, help these women” (Phil. 4:3). The word for help in this text is a vivid and tender one, meaning to “come alongside and lift.” I recall when my dear mother was in the last months of her life, recovering from a broken hip. The home health aide showed me how to help my mother get to her feet. I was to crouch by her side, put her arm on my shoulder and my arm around her, and lift. That sounds like what Paul had in mind when he urged the church to help. We don’t know the outcome of this fight in Philippi, and certainly not all of our church disputes are resolved. Interactions within the local church are complicated and often messy affairs. However, we know that Paul believed that unity in Christ’s Body is paramount and that it was worth every effort to restore and maintain it.

Make peace. Paul exhorts us, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18). Commit to being a peacemaking pastor and church. Settling conflicts, healing pain, and restoring relationships ought always to be our aim. To do otherwise leaves such wounds open and weeping. To heal them will require much prayer, deep humility, and honesty on the part of pastors and church leaders. It will be time-consuming, emotionally demanding, and often unsuccessful, as appeals and apologies may not be accepted. It will, however, end the matter, and if we want the beatitude of hearing the Father one day call us His sons and daughters, we will seek to be His peacemakers.
 
______________
About the Author:

Jack L. Daniel is Field Director for Overseed, a nonprofit ministry organization whose vision is to revitalize historic New England churches by recruiting, training, and supporting godly pastors to serve in their pulpits. He is Pastor Emeritus of Free Christian Church of Andover and North Andover, MA, a congregational church he pastored for 35 years. Jack holds degrees from Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary (M.Div.) and Andover-Newton Theological School (D.Min. in Pastoral Counseling). Retired from full-time ministry in 2012, he remains passionate about preaching the gospel and coaching younger pastors.